Moo Noon

I've quietly endured through TwiGate long enough.

The last thing I want to see at a gas station is a seductive slab of chocolate packaged in an Edward face.

I've been a proud supporter of a proud reader of the books. I read the first three books out-loud to my wife while she was pregnant last year--and I actually enjoyed them at the time. A bit mushy and fluffy but it was fun.

I would soon come to find the underlying truth. I enlisted in an army of 12 year old girls, the likes of which the world has yet to see. An unwilling soldier I dutifully paraded my wife Anna to the--I really like the name "Anna"--nearest theater to our apartment last year on the opening night of Twilight. Precisely one year later... history is about to repeat itself.

I'm not going to be attending the opening debut of Stephanie Myer's awkward bridge book between Tilight and Eclipse, dare I say New Moon, but I will be there front-row and attentive with my arm hooked on my wife's, chewing on twizzlers.

This year, I may consider bringing a pen and a pad of paper so I can jot down some tubular talking points. Just some topics to go over with my hunnn as I'm carrying her over my shoulder, barging out of the emergency door.

The fire alarm didn't exactly work out too well last year. Maybe this time I could act drunk and hurl Anna's purse (which I'll fill with cats before hand) at the screen while yelling "HANNAH LAZAAGNA, CHEESY MONTANA AND SHADOW OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

...repeated five times...

Oh. I'm not going to forget my favorite lip gloss either.